If you’ve been reading my blog since I started, you may recall that my husband wanted me to share my ranting with world. I’ve tried really hard to resist, but there are alot of things out there lately that are leaving me bewildered (at best) or seriously annoyed (to put it politely). I’ve restrained myself and only listed four things. Today.
Grocery store parking lots that are sloped. I suspect there’s someone in the store laughing at me every time I go: I’ve got a full cart, and when I remove a bag, the cart starts to roll away, so I put one foot on the bottom rack to hold it in place but without putting my weight on it so I’m actually balancing on one foot as I wrestle another bag with eight jars of spaghetti sauce into my trunk. Delightful. When they leveled this acre to build the store, they couldn’t have leveled the parking lot? By the way, it’s probably raining, too.
Photo frames that come with un-removable price tag stickers right smack in the middle of the glass. Thank goodness they use a fixative strong enough to withstand all known solvents as well as most of my fingernails and razor blades. I think that photo of my six-year-old and her first missing tooth is really enhanced by that smear of leftover glue that refuses to come off.
I went out to lunch yesterday with my kids in a chain restaurant. We have food allergies in our family, so we are often in the position of asking the waitress to check the ingredients on the menu items. Sometimes we are met with gracious wait staff, people who go above and beyond my expectations. Alas, sometimes we are met with wait staff who seem to have never heard of food allergies. Yesterday, we had very friendly waitresses who tried their best to help us but were forced to admit that their establishment didn’t really keep allergy and ingredient information on hand there in the restaurant . . . but it was all readily available online. This is particularly helpful knowledge to receive while already sitting in the restaurant.
Parents who coach their kids from the sidelines. I’m pretty sure you could have volunteered to coach, or offered to be the assistant coach. But you didn’t. Therefore, the only things you should be yelling are generic words of encouragement. Let me be specific here: “Go!” and “Good job!” and “Nice try!” are all appropriate. But “BOBBY MOVE UP MOVE UP!” or “SUZIE JUST WAIT AT THE GOAL!” or “JOHNNY TAKE THE FREE KICK!” are not. I’m sure you belong in the pantheon of world famous coaches, next to Knute Rockne and Mike Krzyzewski. I know you got the mvp award in 10th grade, so you really know how to play this game. But today you’re just the snack parent, so zip it.